I'll be standing up in a distance wedding in a few months. Between the plane tickets, hotel, rental car and tux, I'll be spending around $500 which is considerable. The groom was actually very helpful in trying to reduce costs - went with a less expensive tux, called the groomsmen whenever tickets dropped in price, pairs us up for hotel rooms, etc.
In other weddings I've stood up in, I usually give a gift worth $75 to $100, but these have all been in town. Is it expected for me to give roughly the same gift, or would less be expected given the cost of attending this wedding. The couple are only starting out, and I'd like to help them, but we are on a tight budget, and I had to shift around some things to be able to attend the wedding.
Also, I've heard that etiquette allows 1 year to send gifts - is this out of the question since I'm standing up?
Thanks for your honest input.
Technically if they asked you to stand up in their wedding and you are from out of town, they should AT least offer to help pay for your hotel stay (or find a place for you to stay that is local)…but if their budget doesn't allow it, then you are a great friend to front the costs!
If you are close enough friends to be in their wedding, I'm certain they would understand it if you let them know you plan on getting them a gift in the near future….and then give what you can and are comfortable with (is should be the marriage that is celebrated…and not necessarily just with gifts)
Good luck!
"Contrary to popular belief, there is no calculable amount of money each person attending a wedding should spend on a wedding gift. It is not the amount of money spent on the reception divided by the number of guests. A gift should be a token of affection, and is not intended to pay for the wedding."
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